A Glossary of Canadian Terms and Phrases

By Edar 'Cinnikull' Aihil

Life in Canada Made Easy As a gawking new immigrant fresh off the boat, your first few months in Canada are bound to be full of wide-eyed excitement, bewilderment and surprises over so many new things. As you come to grips with the nitty-gritties of your new life, there are so many new terms and phrases which may confuse and befuddle your-preferred-sweet-deity out of you.

Although the government-funded free glossy immigrant magazines that you pick up regularly at traffic signals will surely provide you with a quick laugh, there’s only so much entertainment you need as a newcomer, right? After all, you’re here to make a living, not jokes!

You need more pertinent info! You have pressing questions! What does this mean? What do they mean by that? So many things you don’t know!

So look no further and worry not, dear fellow landed immigrant. Your intrepid blogger at CanadaImmigrantBlog is hard at work making it all make sense for you!

A growing glossary of Canadian Terms and Phrases

Foreign Trained Professional

An unworthy individual with sub-standard skills from an unpronounceable third-world city who was trained too much in global financial market analysis but fails to meet the standards for Canadian Cats and Dog Walkers Society.

International Experience

Canadian fast-food industry’s entry level qualification which is equivalent to 15 years of upper management experience from a non-North-American tinpot country somewhere east of the Atlantic.

Professional Credentials and Degrees

Fine pieces of thick, fancy paper with gold lettered name and educational/professional expertise printed in curly fonts. Not worth recycling or donating. Good for origami or lining kitchen drawers.

Public Transit

Soon to be made history by well-fed mayors and over-paid employees, Canadian public transit is an expensive and luxurious mode of transportation for communist, socialist pinkos, car-deprived middle class snobs, and those randomly and casually failed by Ontario driving licence examiner.

Tim Hortons

A genuinely Canadian organization offering lucrative “on location” cushy jobs with excellent perks and benefits for newly arrived immigrants and exceptionally talented newcomers.

Job Interview

A carefully choreographed and performed one-act play written by William Shakespeare’s Canadian descendants. Occasionally contains a second act.

CV / Resume / Bio-Data

A document listing a Canadian resident’s various punishable crimes and misdemeanours with details of experience serving time at correctional facilities.

Canadian Experience

Period of time from the moment of emergence of a newborn from mother’s womb within Canada’s geographic borders and duly witnessed and recorded by a qualified maternity professional under Canadian laws. No other requirements.

Also check out Bart’s brilliant definitions below (comment 5)!

If you need or have any more definitions on any Canadian term and phrase or part of speech, drop in a comment!

Published: January 15th, 2011

Comments

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/ delusional

Thx for this article.

“A man, without force, is without the essential dignity of humanity.Human nature is so constituted, that it cannot honor a helpless man,although it can pity him; and even this it cannot do long, if the signs of power do not arise.”

‘’The human cries out for help; the human soul
Implores us for deliverance; but we do not heed their Cries, for we neither hear nor understand.’
http://wwwcanadianculture.blogspot.com mark

Reading this one artlicle from you, i found when i first met my fiance face to face and went to Canada for a month i experienced alot of things from late nights to swealtering heat and of course the ledgendary Canada day festival (oshawa) Often i would ponder on some frases my fiance would use from something like a fin (fice dollars) to a loonie…. (0ne dollar)
I seriously wondered where my sanity had gone for a moment listening to ‘fins’ and loonies, but asked my fiancee what was what, yes some of the slang is hard to understand but i’m sure would be picked up no time. I;m moving there permanent around april 2011 and cant wait to see/hear more!
http://palingmemalukan.blogspot.com raharja

helo. i am from indonesia. i glad join here. according my name raharja.
http://www.indiraprabhakaran.com Indira Prabhakaran

Hello there,

This is Indira and i found this blog while i was searching for info on Canadian immigrants. This is a very good blog with a wide range of info for aspiring immigrants like me. I specially loved this article

Looking forward to land in Canada soon..

Thanks,

Indira Prabhakaran.
Bart

Yo … Here are some other definitions for you.

Job creation
The augmentation of workforce for the purpose accommodating consumer surges around major national and provincial holidays. Often portrayed as a sign of economic growth, these additional workforce is often part-time, service-oriented, and is dissolved within 14 days after said holidays, usually accompanied with portions of the permanent workforce deemed redundant to improve overall economic efficiency, or what remains of it.

Economic recovery
Headlines of every news report across all national media outlets upon receiving national statistics of job creation (see previous entry). These reports of economic recovery are usually released immediately before any major national and provincial holidays, either as an attempt to restore consumer confidence, to provide impetus for economic stimulus for actual economic recovery. While a surge in consumer spending can be observed as a result of such reports of economic recovery, these surges are insignificant in magnitude or duration to sustain or initiate any substantial economic growth or recovery.

Nortel
Formerly known as “Northern Telecom”, Nortel is formerly a bread basket for the Canadian economy, and is formerly conceived to be the most accommodating employer in Canada. Former employees of Nortel at all levels were often showered with company VISA cards, unlimited expense accounts, and access to the Internet. Due to a number of former accounting frauds involving a number of former CEOs, much of the perceived former glory of Nortel is all but gone. The former CEOs have either been prosecuted or fled the country, and many of the former employers have turned to other former Canadian economic conglomerates for financial patronage, such as Zellers, Loblaws, and Tim Horton’s. To date, the Government of Canada has yet to look for their next bread basket to replace their former golden boy, as much of the former Canadian industry have since shipped to former Third-world countries such as China and India.

Third-World
(A) A dated Canadian perception of emerging powers such as China, India, and Brazil, whose economic capacities have since outpaced Canada over the last 10 years. (B) A misinformed Canadian perception of industrialized nations such as the EU, the USA, and Mexico, whose economic capacities have outpaced Canada over the last 50 years. (C) A distorted view perpetuated by residents of Canada, in an attempt to lure citizens from the above-mentioned Third World nations to settle in Canada and be bled dry.
http://www.jpkman.com Debi

Hello – I am the community manager for a 55+ RV and Park Model Resort – Aztec RV Resort in Mesa, AZ. Needless to say – I have about 50% Canadian residents that winter with us.

Out of curiosity – we call our winter visitors “snow birds” – what do Canadians call Candians that travel south for the winter?

Sincerely – Debi
babe

WHY are we allowing more immigrants in Canada, when we have plenty who are here about 50% who end up LIVING on poverty and greatly affecting the BORN CANADIANS LIVELIHOOD?? I AM BORN IN VANCOUVER BEFORE the 80′s, can’t get a JOB, MEDICAL CARE AND RENT IS EXPENSIVE. LONG waiting times to get into some programs in SCHOOL TOO! but what good does going to school do if at the end there is NO JOBS OR VERY FEW OF THEM?? I live on WELFARE now! This is a EXTREMELY SERIOUS issue. Should i START a PROTEST that becomes NATIONWIDE?? Maybe I will stay on welfare so YOU can pay for me feeling hopeless and falling into great despair..hmm.

I have fallen between the cracks and CANNOT get any of these issues addressed. CANADA BORN PEOPLE, PARTICULARLY THE WORKING AGE PEOPLE (STARTING IN MID 20S AGE) NEED TO BE HEARD!
johnny

Dear Babe
I can understand your frustration and I would like to tell u, you are already a priveleged group (Canadian born, white). If an immigrant and you apply for the same job and assuming experience/qualifications are similar, I can guarantee you will got the job. Indeed, you are not competing with immigrants for jobs because majority of immigrants cannot get a decent jobs anyway. You are victims of a very socialist Canadian government which seems to favour socialism over capitalism. Learn from your cousin south of the border. They fall but up pretty quickly.
M & M

@Johnny – how do you know Babe is white? There are plenty of non-whites born in Canada….
http://www.noufnouf.com Dave

The best way to start for newcomers is to do some research of job market, do not hurry. Talk with friends, check payscale . com or montster . ca.
And be a little bit self-confident.