Let’s stop kidding ourselves: We now have a New Dumb Canadian Reality, all because of my fellow immigrants. My sincerest apologies, regrets and grief. I never thought it’d be this easy for the dark side to win so easily! I really am sorry: I tried, but no immigrant reads this stupid idiot’s blog.
First a depressingly real fear: With a rising rightwing that’s gradually dumbing Ontario down, I see larger Canadian mobs voting conservative again, so this post might as well not be written or do any good at all. You’ve been sadly forewarned.
And secondly, to answer the question: Ask not why you should not vote Conservative. Ask why are you so stupid to even consider voting rightwing!
Dear readers, fellow immigrants, ladies and gentlemen. It is with great pleasure and a six-dollar TTC trip that I have the honour and privilege to announce the Annual Canada Immigrant Awards.
Ever since landing on the Canadian soil one fine early-afternoon in 2006, I have seen, with immense pride, delight and frequently recurring cold and flu, the phenomenal achievements of my fellow Skilled Worker Class Landed Migrants from all corners of the world.
As a gawking new immigrant fresh off the boat, your first few months in Canada are bound to be full of wide-eyed excitement, bewilderment and surprises over so many new things. As you come to grips with the nitty-gritties of your new life, there are so many new terms and phrases which may confuse and befuddle your-preferred-sweet-deity out of you.
In the largest and richest Canadian province of Ontario, your eyes and mouth do not qualify as part of your body, or health – if you are over 20 and under 65 years of age.
Which is fine because everyone knows that people between the ages of 20 and 65 are the least important in any society, so why should Ontarians be any different?
We have been extremely fortunate to manage a series of one-to-one sessions with Dr Grey V. Trayn, the bestselling author of O Cana Duh: How to Succeed Through Simple Everyday Deceit, Clever Exploits and Unlimited Federal Grants. Dr Trayn is the founder and chairman of Settlement Canada Arrival Management Services (SCAMS) Inc, one of Canada’s largest government funded Certified Settlement Service Provider for newcomers and Immigrants.
For some new Canadians like myself, there’s an additional reason to live in constant apology, fear and loathing:
Guilt by association.
And bracing for the recurring media hate-fests, taunts and torments after events we have no control over.
No matter how non-religious, apolitical, non-ethnic, liberal, secular, agnostic, sceptical, atheistic we are, we cannot disassociate ourselves from the associative burden/baggage of our roots.