For some new Canadians like myself, there’s an additional reason to live in constant apology, fear and loathing:

Guilt by association.

And bracing for the recurring media hate-fests, taunts and torments after events we have no control over.

No matter how non-religious, apolitical, non-ethnic, liberal, secular, agnostic, sceptical, atheistic we are, we cannot disassociate ourselves from the associative burden/baggage of our roots.

The Federal Cracking Down on Crooked Consultants Act is yet another example of genius ideas that could only originate from government committees and inter-departmental projects relying on expensive studies, funded ‘experts’ and fact finding missions to exotic locations – thus creating more work for each other and jobs for the boys.

Or may be it’s a psychological comedy play whose name cannot be uttered with a straight face: Cracking Up with Crooked Consultants – Act I… harharhar. Please!

According to the sales pitch which I think won the hearts and minds of folks at the Immigration Ministry, the Act “will allow

So one fine morning, not very long ago, I pledged my allegiance to the Queen by raising my right hand to affirm my loyalty to the Crown and became a Canadian Citizen.

I was instructed to bring along a religious book of my choice, but as an agnostic with serious mood swings into atheism and back, I decided my word was good enough for the King and the Country — and the honourable Canadian Justice system agreed.

People were accompanied by friends and family who cheered and took photographs. As a solo participant, I smiled politely at everyone and laughed occasionally to the judge’s quips during the inaugural pep-talk.

Then we all merrily sang along the Canadian national Anthem. There were no milk and cookies, sadly.