An Idiot’s Guide to Staying Positive as an Immigrant
As a free service to the Canadian Ministry of Citizenship and Immigration, I have written an insider’s guide to the inner workings of an idle immigrant mind in Ontario. It will help the Ministry spend more money on government-funded programs for immigrants and will also add more glossy literature to put at the airports and Service Canada Centres nationwide, thus creating more secure jobs for bilingual Canadians from Nova Scotia and New Brunswick.
This is an ongoing guide. Check back often to find more tidbits and help and support information as my adventure continues. I’m still working on the French version.
Try to make sense of it all: Ask yourself: How do you stay positive in a state of insecurity, hopelessness and in the face of fear of failure ? Yes! You take comfort in your friends and family and network of professional friends, and get motivated with their support and encouragement.
Try wondering about silly little stuff: What if you have none of the above within a few thousand miles’ radius ? The only people you knew by their names were your co-workers who vanished into thin air the moment your employer locked its doors one fine morning. As if the place never existed. This is what I meant by ‘kaput’ in the post describing the dark-comedy incident. And the only relative you had around moved to the other side of the continent. Oh yes, the landlady knows who you are!
Try asking stupid rhetorical questions: Does this vicious cycle of finding employment again ever end ? Customizing your resume again and again, writing cover letter after cover letter, visiting employment websites hour after hour.
Try focusing on the results: And what job you get as a result of the above is only when you undersell yourself to the point of utmost hilarity. Then when you’re on the underdog job, you keep applying every night for something in your own relevant field. Until, of course, your existing underdog job goes bust again.
Try rationalizing: Isn’t that what I’ve been doing ever since I landed in Canada two and a half years ago ? Surely, I’m a pro at this now!
Addendum: Kind readers tewf and Melanie made me realize how popular this Idiot’s Guide is becoming (both from the Middle East?) Now, I will surely be adding more points soon!
December 11th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Very depressing Blog. Obviously trying to attract as many readers as possible with a cynical to death, unrealistic, exclusively negative and non constructive view of the different topics of interest to a new immigrant or wanna be immigrant.
Not worth the cents Google gives the author for each display of those pages.
December 27th, 2008 at 6:00 am
I totally agree with Tewf…dude, i do wish you luck in that country but if you’re so miserable, go back to where you came from…not worth killing yourself, right? and why paint such a grim picture for the rest of the world?
January 12th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Being an immigrant myself, I am going to say that I relate to this post completely…..
January 29th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Hi there, just discovered your blog and it is a breath of fresh air. Like Nadine above, I am a new-ish immigrant and I relate totally 100% with your comments. Plus I like the cynical, ironic, but VERY humorous tone as it matches my own. I made the same conclusion that the large visa income which Canada generates allows them too give you those huge glossy brochures/diaries/newspapers as you arrive at the airport. It also pays the wages of those friendly ‘immigrant’ people manning the ‘Welcome to Canada’ section also at the airport. At the time I was over the moon at the friendly Canadian welcome, but now I realise I paid for all of this and it is largely useless. I recently chucked those books in the trash…a final awakening to the reality of the situation. I am going home in September (UK) as I can’t see it getting any better (no employment, no recognition of degree / work experience, isolated, slowly becoming fnancially bankrupt). I shall continue to read your blog with enjoyment if you have the energy to produce it. THANK YOU!
January 30th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Hi all.
I have just read this blog and found it brilliant.
We moved to Canada in July 2007 and have struggled ever since. We love Canada with it’s relative low crime rate, lovely people and Wide open spaces, but unfortunately, this does not pay for you to live!
We came from the UK where we were relatively well off, we had good holidays abroad, 2 cars, etc. We are now virtually bankrupt, and like Sophie, we find ourselves heading back to the UK soon. We are disappointed that our dream has to end. Like lots of other people out there, we spent ??1000’s and took lots of time to get here. We ended our lives in Britain and started them again here.
It is a sad situation, but one we must do.
Take care all.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Since I finished my master’s degree in Canada I haven’t been able to find a job. I spent almost 300 dls and now I find myself getting back to my country. If I’m going to clean offices I rather do it close to my family and friends.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
correction 3000 dls…
May 9th, 2009 at 11:37 am
I am also a new immigrant to Canada. After all the red tape, work permits, and permanent residency dilemmas, I still face minor annoyances that become major. I am a doctor with 15 years experience in my field. It is CRAZY to go to a cell phone store and be told that my credit is poor and I’ll have to pay a $500 deposit! Did they check my income which is close to $100K?!? I have a cell phone that required a smaller deposit. However, I only use it for emergencies but the coverage is terrible. I have to drive 3 miles from my house for reception. It makes it more than difficult to provide the best service to my patients! Just another wrinkle in the new immigrant story….
August 25th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
I’m a new immigrant too, and just found out that Canada sucks. I’m leaving soon. I’ll spread the news so that the Canadian government can no longer lie and give false hope to other people out there.
July 10th, 2010 at 2:35 am
Canada does not have jobs, and the government is keeping immigration doors wide open, then armies of immigrants are joining the already unemployed Canadians, so this way the Candian Government makes Canada more and more miserable place to live in< just I want to ask why, why, why??????