An Idiot’s Guide to Staying Positive as an Immigrant

By Edar 'Cinnikull' Aihil

Idiot's Guide to Immigration Canada

ADVISORY: This is an idiot’s guide. For intellectually stimulating and heart-warming tales of triumph and achievement, please visit your nearest Canada Immigration Consultant.

As a free service to the Ministry of Citizenship and Immigration, I have written an insider’s guide to the inner workings of an idle immigrant mind in Ontario. It will help the Ministry spend more money on government-funded programs for immigrants and will also add more glossy literature to put at the airports and Service Canada Centres nationwide, thus creating more secure jobs for bilingual Canadians from Nova Scotia and New Brunswick.

This is an ongoing guide. Check back often to find more tidbits and help and support information as my adventure continues. I’m still working on the French version.

The Positive Immigrant – A Self-Help Guide

Try to make sense of it all

Ask yourself: How do you stay positive in a state of insecurity, hopelessness and in the face of fear of failure ? Yes! You take comfort in your friends and family and network of professional friends, and get motivated with their support and encouragement.

Try wondering about silly little stuff

What if you have none of the above within a few thousand miles’ radius ? The only people you knew by their names were your co-workers who vanished into thin air the moment your employer locked its doors one fine morning. As if the place never existed. This is what I meant by ‘kaput’ in the post describing the dark-comedy incident. And the only relative you had around moved to the other side of the continent. Oh yes, the landlady knows who you are!

Try asking stupid rhetorical questions

Does this vicious cycle of finding employment again ever end ? Customizing your resume again and again, writing cover letter after cover letter, visiting employment websites hour after hour.

Try focusing on the results

And what job you get as a result of the above is only when you undersell yourself to the point of utmost hilarity. Then when you’re on the underdog job, you keep applying every night for something in your own relevant field. Until, of course, your existing underdog job goes bust again.

Try rationalizing

Isn’t that what I’ve been doing ever since I landed in Canada two and a half years ago ? Surely, I’m a pro at this now!

Addendum: Kind readers tewf and Melanie made me realize how popular this Idiot’s Guide is becoming (both from the Middle East?) Now, I will surely be adding more points soon!

Published: December 1st, 2008

Comments

tewf

Very depressing Blog. Obviously trying to attract as many readers as possible with a cynical to death, unrealistic, exclusively negative and non constructive view of the different topics of interest to a new immigrant or wanna be immigrant.
Not worth the cents of those pages.
Melanie

I totally agree with Tewf…dude, i do wish you luck in that country but if you’re so miserable, go back to where you came from…not worth killing yourself, right? and why paint such a grim picture for the rest of the world?
Nadine

Being an immigrant myself, I am going to say that I relate to this post completely…..
Sophie

Hi there, just discovered your blog and it is a breath of fresh air. Like Nadine above, I am a new-ish immigrant and I relate totally 100% with your comments. Plus I like the cynical, ironic, but VERY humorous tone as it matches my own. I made the same conclusion that the large visa income which Canada generates allows them too give you those huge glossy brochures/diaries/newspapers as you arrive at the airport. It also pays the wages of those friendly ‘immigrant’ people manning the ‘Welcome to Canada’ section also at the airport. At the time I was over the moon at the friendly Canadian welcome, but now I realise I paid for all of this and it is largely useless. I recently chucked those books in the trash…a final awakening to the reality of the situation. I am going home in September (UK) as I can’t see it getting any better (no employment, no recognition of degree / work experience, isolated, slowly becoming fnancially bankrupt). I shall continue to read your blog with enjoyment if you have the energy to produce it. THANK YOU!
Lorraine

Hi all.
I have just read this blog and found it brilliant.
We moved to Canada in July 2007 and have struggled ever since. We love Canada with it’s relative low crime rate, lovely people and Wide open spaces, but unfortunately, this does not pay for you to live!
We came from the UK where we were relatively well off, we had good holidays abroad, 2 cars, etc. We are now virtually bankrupt, and like Sophie, we find ourselves heading back to the UK soon. We are disappointed that our dream has to end. Like lots of other people out there, we spent ??1000′s and took lots of time to get here. We ended our lives in Britain and started them again here.
It is a sad situation, but one we must do.

Take care all.
Daniel

Since I finished my master’s degree in Canada I haven’t been able to find a job. I spent almost 300 dls and now I find myself getting back to my country. If I’m going to clean offices I rather do it close to my family and friends.
Daniel

correction 3000 dls…
Sanni

I am also a new immigrant to Canada. After all the red tape, work permits, and permanent residency dilemmas, I still face minor annoyances that become major. I am a doctor with 15 years experience in my field. It is CRAZY to go to a cell phone store and be told that my credit is poor and I’ll have to pay a $500 deposit! Did they check my income which is close to $100K?!? I have a cell phone that required a smaller deposit. However, I only use it for emergencies but the coverage is terrible. I have to drive 3 miles from my house for reception. It makes it more than difficult to provide the best service to my patients! Just another wrinkle in the new immigrant story….
Ferry

I’m a new immigrant too, and just found out that Canada sucks. I’m leaving soon. I’ll spread the news so that the Canadian government can no longer lie and give false hope to other people out there.
zaalan

Canada does not have jobs, and the government is keeping immigration doors wide open, then armies of immigrants are joining the already unemployed Canadians, so this way the Candian Government makes Canada more and more miserable place to live in< just I want to ask why, why, why??????
Austen@

Hello, and ‘chapeau to the creator of this blog, as the French say. I’ve been reading you with a passion ever since I discovered you last year.

As you all guys I am an immigrant here fed up with what seems to be the opposite of what Canada advertises overseas. I come originally from Eastern Europe, am perfectly bilingual, or excuse me trilingual, and so what? Over the past couple of years, I have got a few fixed-term contracts here and there but that’s it. Playing the hide-n-seek sort of hidden market employment game every since I landed here in early 2007.

Well, anyway, 4 years have gone by and I can’t wait to resume my life back in Europe, hopefully in a couple of months.

This country is just a big business, which is bringing into Canada a minimum of around 2.5 billion dollars annually from the application fees skilled immigrants pay and the money in savings they land with, in case any of you ever wondered. And to that, honestly, I didn’t dare add the money brought in by the entrepreneurial category of immigrants.

So all in all, my conclusion, all they care for in this business is NUMBERS and not individual/immigrant well-being. Ha ha, the biggest joke ever for someone who keeps wondering why on Earth didn’t think of trying Iceland first before flying all the way to the other end of the world. At least, that would have been a place closer to home, where they do recognize foreign credentials as opposed to here where they keep reinventing the wheel.

Take care all!
Cicy

Hi, I found this blog just after I got another “We are sorry to inform you that you were not the successful candidate”. What I read here swings me back into positive thinking. Fellow immigrants, a lot of us make it in Canada; some fairly quickly. I believe this because I have been to story-sharing events of Skills Connect and Canadian Immigration Integration Project (CIIP), and I have heard new immigrants telling their own success stories.
True, I am not one of them. I brought with me a PhD from America and international work experience, but I am still doing sporadic jobs that give a pathetic income. The first full-time job that came to me left me with an injured arm a few months later. However, when I recall my year and a half in Canada, a few big-name employers did interview me, though no job offers. Oh, I have an interview pending from the first ever reponse I got from Craig’s List.
Right, this will not be where I want to be even if it works out. But I have come to a much better understanding of this country by living here and staying in the workforce. Dear immigrants, we made our own decision to come to Canada, and it is up to ourselves to make it in this country. At the bottom line, we must trust ourselves, but not be led by immigrant-serving organizations or government-sponsored programs. When I am very unsuccessful and miserable, they have counted me as one of their numbers. Those may be of some use, but it is up to us how to use them. Our career goals should not be decided quickly by another person. Where we go to look for jobs and how our resume and cover letter look like should be decided by ourselves. Think where and how we can fit in and be satisfied, and work on it. Be adaptable, but do not give up our goal to settle down and live a nice life in Canada. We can all make it!